


Under the Roses

by shinidie



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Dark Academia, Everyone Is Gay, Heavy Themes, It's all boys boarding school duh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:53:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinidie/pseuds/shinidie
Summary: Asahi, a transferee, was warned not to get close to a particular ill-starred clique. But Jaehyuk is in it. And he adores Jaehyuk.
Relationships: Hamada Asahi/Yoon Jaehyuk
Comments: 23
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a main plot that doesn't revolve around Jaesahi. Before I met Treasure I'm a pretentious basterd AKA dark academic so I decided to fuse them into one story. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> PS. This contains heavy themes such as sexual harassment, bullying, and possibly, death. So if you are uncomfortable about that, please do not proceed.

“Promise you’ll be good?” My mother asked, flattening the unkempt hem of my new uniform. Her eyes were teary but still she smiles. The sight of her in such a bittersweet state makes my chest tighten a bit. I’m not gonna deny it, I am gonna miss her so much. 

I hummed in response. And for the last time, we embraced.

Right after the last school year ended, we moved into my grandparents’ old house in Busan, as they’ve been planning for months prior. I was against and still against since I am already in senior high school, only one year from graduating, so it would only be a hassle. But as you can see, they did not listen. 

They enrolled me in an all-boys boarding school. It was so ironic. I would reside in a dorm, which defeats the purpose of us moving to Busan. My father argued he didn’t know that before matriculating since his good friend just commended the school without mentioning the crucial factor. Normally, they wouldn’t accept a transferee that late but because my father has connections, they made an exception. Plus, that school has a great reputation. It was tempting enough for them. I was defenseless.

As we parted, the principal escorted me to my room. I heard there’s three campus dormitories here, all according to how much comfort you can afford. Thanks to my privilege, I got to stay in the grandest dorm where roommates does not exist and there’s personal bathrooms.

We strode and strode until we ascended to the floor unlike the hallways as boisterous as the ones we’ve passed. There’s no one running around, no howls, no people devouring every last drop of their free time. I prayed harder than I did before for my room to be in this floor. And I was heard. 

“Thank your father for this. He wanted you to perform optimally so he requested the room with less background noise.” 

I couldn’t help but to smile. 

He handed me the keys, “I’ll get going now.” 

After he left, I immediately burst into my room, dropping my bags and leaping on the bed like a frolic child.

It was homey. With the crème walls and a big window by the study table. But nothing comes close to the room I have back home. I was enjoying the softness of the mattress when a knock broke off, followed by the swinging of the door. I sprang up. 

I thought it was the principal coming back to say something but it was someone else. By the looks of it, we’re probably on the same grade.

“You’re Asahi, right?” He asked in rhetorical tone, “I’m Yedam. Sir Yang asked me to tour you around, but I guess you’re still not done with your things.” 

He has a voice of a honey. I suppose he sings well.

I wanted to decline as I am weary but I do not know how, so I ended up unresponsive. Awkward tension rose up between us, but soon rescued by him humming. I think he understood. 

“Let’s do it tomorrow. What class are you?”

“12-B.”

“We’re classmates! That’s amazing.” He exclaimed, “Do you wanna walk to class tomorrow with me?”

I prefer to walk to classes alone but I must not blow the chance of friendship on an unknown territory. Besides, he seems cool. 

“Sure.” 

“Goodnight then.”

I sighed in relief as soon as I got to taste the sweetness of my solitude again. This day is tiring, and I still need to adjust to the sudden change of environment. So after unpacking my things, I grabbed my phone and decided to send a text. Contrary to what I usually show, I miss my friends in Seoul. They’re my only friends.

_Asahi:_

_I’m officially a boarding school boy. Tomorrow’s the classes, wish me luck._

Only a second has passed and they were both typing. 

_Doyoung:_

_Feels empty here without you~_

_Haruto:_

_Come back sooner, I can’t bear Doyoung-a’s cringey pick-up lines any longer._

Our conversation dragged long than I intended to. We talked about all of the useless things, from Haruto’s new perm to Doyoung’s all red outfit. We talked until my eyelids were getting heavy. That night, I slept barren.

-

I woke up by the silence of the room. My alarm hasn’t gone off and the crickets were loud. The night is cold. Right, my mother usually wakes me up at this hour. It feels empty waking up without her scolding. 

Yedam showed up around 7 am. As we walk down, several guys stopped him for small talks, and he accosted with such affability. All of their faces were blended. I can’t remember any of them. Two persons joined us when we stopped by the cafeteria for a quick breakfast. They were Jeongwoo and Junghwan. Out of the people Yedam introduced to me, those two were the only ones that I can recall since they’re my classmates too and their personalities were distinct, especially Jeongwoo. 

-

One of the main reasons I was hesitant to relocate is my inability to make friends. You see, my face is aloof by default and I don’t talk much. Although my relationship with my new pals are not that deep yet to be labelled as ‘friends’ in my heart, I enjoy being with them. It’s a progress. For someone as solitary as me, It’s a big progress. I actually expected I’d be alone for the whole school year. 

Friday afternoon, we went to watch Yedam’s soccer practice. Junghwan stopped by the cafeteria to grab a snack as he always does, so Jeongwoo and I headed first. With the vastness of the soccerfield, it looked nearly empty, occupied by only around several people excluding us. It’s not always like this, Jeongwoo said. Perhaps the students are busy with their club activities. 

“To be honest, I was scared of you at first.” He initiated as we sat by the bench. 

“Yeah I know. I get that all the time.”

“If Yedammie didn’t adopt you, I doubt I’d approach you at all.” He cackled, making me smirk. Such things don’t offend me anymore. It gets old.

“Feeling’s mutual.” I returned my attention to Yedam, who’s now playing around with a boy in a black cap, “Who’s that?”

“That’s Hyunsuk. Their captain. I heard he’s crazy good at soccer, and kind too. Too bad he’s buddy buddy with Jihoon.” 

I shot him a questioning look. 

“Oh, the notorious kingpin. He’s lowkey the boss around here. He’s liked by many, detested by some, by that some includes me, Yedammie and Junghwan. Thinking about it, I doubt he’s liked at all.”

I wanted to ask why but I was afraid it’d be too intrusive. Instead I just nodded and reverted back to the game practice. Comfortable silence reigned until Yedam ran up to us for the break. 

“Where’s Junghwan?” He asked as I handed over the water bottle.

Jeongwoo tilted his head, muddled. “Oh! I’ve completely forgotten about him. He stopped by the cafeteria, he hasn’t gone back since.” 

“Classic Junghwan.” 

They were chatting about something— was it their upcoming soccer game or the math quiz we’ve had earlier? I was too faded to keep track of their conversation. The campus building looks ancient to the modernity of the sports center, which is quite enjoyable to the sight. I was appreciating the architectural details of the school when someone caught my eye. He has a mullet. Is that even allowed here? It suits him, though. He jogged to Hyunsuk, handing him a bottle of water and a bag.

“That’s Jaehyuk.” Jeongwoo stated, stealing back my attention. “Asahi’s interested with the gang.”

Yedam turned to me in a swift manner with eyebrows raised.

“I’d strongly advise you to extinguish that interest. They attract nothing but misfortune.” 

I scoffed, “That’s exaggerating.”

“Yeah, but keep away from them. Especially Jihoon.” Chuckling, he stood up, “I’m going back. Wish me luck.”

“I wish you luck.”

“You’re funny.”

Cautions are supposed to warn against danger but my mind is its own kind and takes it reversely. How they provide no explanations behind their warnings made my curiosity burn more. 

The universe must be playing when it made Jaehyuk walk over my direction. Shamelessly I watched him, which I suppose bothered him and so he returned my stare. When he approached near, his lips curve into a confused yet warm smile and it caught me off guard— breaking the eye contact. Suddenly it was the floor I was gazing upon. My fingers tapped the wood on its own and I didn’t know my muscles were tensed until it loosened up as he walked past. 

_Misfortune, huh._


	2. Chapter 2

Since that day, I grew infatuated with the idea of them. Perhaps it’s because of my supposed-to-be-restricted curiosity, or perhaps because I couldn’t forget the eye contact I shared with Jaehyuk. That night, before prep time, we stumbled upon him and Hyunsuk with three unfamiliar people on the dining hall. Their presence altogether was overpowering, highly unapproachable, especially of the garrulous man— which I later found out was Jihoon. Beside him is a person of regal disposition I’d almost think of him as a royalty. His name is Yoshi, and he’s indeed a prince, for he’s the great grandson of the school’s founding father. He’s the president of the student body as well. The last one is Junkyu. Out of them five, he seems the brightest; often grinning and giggling. Even his unsmiling face is genial. 

Even from the distance, every single one of them suggests striking qualities. Their dynamic fascinates me that I always find myself gazing at them whenever I could.

And ever since that day, Jaehyuk would always smile at me whenever he meets my eye— always. I am, without a fail, caught off guard whenever he does so, like I don’t see that coming, which is a lie since it is actually anticipated. I don’t know why. Wondering would be futile if accompanied with denial, so I just ruled it out as my social anxiety.

“We’re playing cards at our room. You gonna come?” Junghwan’s head peeped through the half-open door as I was donning a t-shirt. Yedam informed me about that but I have another plans for today.

“No can do. I’m gonna study at library.”

“C’mon, it’s Saturday. You can do that on prep time. Or let Yedam teach you. Let’s play.” He whined. His eyes were beseeching. It was a funny sight, to the point it’s effective. I have this unofficial soft spot for Junghwan because he reminds me of my younger sister, so it's difficult to turn him down.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let out a sigh of defeat. “Alright. I’ll come.” His face lit up. “After I study.”

He huffed. 

“You better come.”

Not long after, Jeongwoo and Yedam appeared on the doorway. We walked out of the building together and soon parted halfway since Junghwan and Jeongwoo’s (they’re roommates) dorm is far north. 

I am not the studious type but I am falling so behind Calculus. Math is not my bailiwick nor it will ever be. Art, music, they’re more my cup of tea. Honestly, I wouldn’t care less about failing Math but I am in a boarding school, for pete’s sake, I have nowhere else to run to. We’re only allowed to face the outside world on vacations or through internet. Prisoned, as one may say.

My pen scribbled numbers on its own for an hour now. I can’t consciously follow through. Maybe I should’ve asked Yedam to tutor me, but I don’t want to be a nuisance. This is too convoluted for my brain. 

Crying seems to be the only option now.

Hope was departing from my body when the chair in front of me screeched against the tiles, followed by the shushing of everyone and a soft apology. I feigned ignorance and kept my head down. 

“Hi.”

Unsure if I am the recipient of the greeting, I stayed still. 

“Glad I finally got the chance to talk to you.” A hand stuck out far enough to be seen from my peripheral vision. “I’m Jaehyuk.”

My head darted up. My concentration, once lost, is lost forever.

I shook his hand with hesitating force, “Asahi.”

The boundless distance between me and their clique reduced into an old mahogany table. It felt like the watershed of my interests, as if the characters in my favorite film jumped out of the screen and into life. 

“Say, do you hate me?” He blurted out, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his palm. There was no hint of shamming on his face. 

I didn’t know how he came to that conclusion. I shifted on my seat, raking my fingers through my hair, reevaluating my life choices before deciding on a reply.

“No.” 

He broke into a silly grin.

“Aigoo. You never smile back when I smile at you. That’s why I thought you’re mad at me.” He snorted, rosy-cheeked, as though embarrassed for thinking so. The corner of my lips quirked up by such sight. 

Sheepishly, I uttered, “there you go.”

“You have an arresting smile—and a dimple. I’m struck.” He placed his right palm on his chest and faked a wince. 

I’ve never put into a hot seat of praises before and I never wanted to and this is the reason. I can feel my blood and heat ascend to my face. Laugh is the only thing I can do to somehow hide the embarrassment. 

He, on the other side, seems like a nature for coquetry.

“Don’t do that to the poor boy, Jaehyukie.” A polished voice spoke behind me, “Hi, I’m Yoshi. And I see you having a hard time on derivatives?"

I was not bluffing when I said Yoshi must be a prince. He ended up teaching me the rest of the lesson in the most transparent way than my professor ever did, and I understood every one of it. Jaehyuk watches as we study, casually chirping in for side notes. Half an hour in, Yoshi needed to hurry along because of his presidential duties so he left a problem for me to practice. He entrusted the checking to Jaehyuk.

The way Jaehyuk examines me as I solve makes my self-consciousness skyrocket that I almost wrote 6 to a 3². When I thought I’ve arrived to the answer, I reluctantly handed him my answer. His eyes skimmed over the paper before looking back to me.

“Hmm, correct, even the graph. You learn fast. Well, Yoshi’s a great teacher. I noticed you’re getting confused with the basics, like the signs, and that’s the fundamentals so you should memorize that with all your heart. Apart from that, you might ace math.” 

That made me smile. Hearing that from someone when all my life I’ve been told I’m horrible at math (even me myself know that), is elating.

“Thanks. I’m actually bad at math.”

His eyebrows raised, “You’re being humble.”

“No really. Don’t flatter me so much, Jaehyuk.” I shifted on my seat for the nth time. My cheeks feel so hot and uncomfortable. My hand flung to cover my face masked as scratching the inner corner of my eyelid.

“You’re cute.” 

My body went in a meltdown. Is he always like this? Does he take enjoyment in apparent distress of people from his compliments? I looked everywhere but his eyes. I needed to escape and the universe heeded; Junghwan. Oh the timing of my recollection. 

Nibbling my lower lip, I mustered up courage and looked at him. He’s still grinning like an idiot.

“Ah. I need to go now.” I managed to let out. How his stupid smile faded made me feel guilty, as if my attempts to flee from him is so blatant that it offends him. I needed to make up an excuse, which is not really an excuse as it is the truth, but I doubt it’d help. Still I feel obligated. “I need to catch up with my friends.”

His lips curved once again. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel relieved.

“Alright. Let’s walk outside.” 

I slipped the paper in between the pages of my book before exiting the library with him. 

“Where are you headed? To Yedam’s dorm? He’s your friend, right?” One after another, he asked. I was about to answer when a boy, his classmate maybe, stole my turn. He spoke to Jaehyuk with his back against me, completely detaching me from their conversation. I crossed my arms, feet tapping.

“No, don’t ask Hyunsuk about it. Leave it be. It’s not important.” I heard Jaehyuk mumbled. “Anyway, don’t block out my friend, you’re being rude, Yoonbin. This is Asahi, the miracle transferee.”

Yoonbin glanced at me, eyes inquiring. 

“Oops. Sorry, didn’t see you there. Hi, I’m Yoonbin.” He turned back to Jaehyuk, “I just wanted to ask you. Gotta run along now.” And so he did.

Jaehyuk smiled at me apologetically, in which I responded with a shrug.

“Sorry ‘bout that. So where are you headed?”

As someone taciturn, I’ve encountered worse but I didn’t mind then so I don’t know why that in particular irked me. 

“To the Dorm B, actually. We’re having card games. Yedam’s there too.” 

His lips parted in a pleasant, surprised way. 

“Lucky. That’s my destination too.”

All throughout our walk, he carried the conversation. He talks too much, but— to my surprise, it doesn’t tick me off. Nor does it make me uncomfortable like earlier at the library as his tendency for gratification has dwindled. It is quite entertaining. His charm is, he doesn’t just babble nor interrogate, he converses. With every statement he makes, he makes sure to consider my thoughts. It’s nice. 

“This is me.” He said as we reached the third floor. “It’s nice to meet you, Sahi.”

“Yeah, likewise.” 

He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll see you around.” 

I proceeded to trudge myself through two more floors. Upon arrival, I swung the door open without knocking. Junghwan and Jeongwoo were lying prone on their beds, watching Yedam, who’s sitting on the floor, shuffle the cards. In unison, their heads snapped to my direction. 

Jeongwoo scrunched up his face, “Why are you smiling?”

_Eh?_

“What are you talking about?”

I was _smiling?_

Junghwan crawled to the corner of his bed to reach for my hand. He almost dived in the process so I extended my arm to him. He grabbed it and pulled me beside him, showering me with welcoming words. Yedam rejoiced along, drowning Jeongwoo’s queries about my alleged smile. 

We played and played until we ran out of games we could think of, including the one we invented but gave up on because of the constant change of rules. They were planning a sleepover, but my body rejects any further social interaction so I went home before curfew, undeterred by their desperate coaxes. There’s something in this day so fervent I need my solitude to process it in. I wonder what could that might be.


	3. Chapter 3

The universe had always been on my favor. Some things I’ve wanted but out of my control, or so I’d like to believe myself, often find its way to me, even if it’s not mine to keep. This phenomenon first manifested itself when I was young and home was too tempestuous for my frail youth and I’ve asked what a child would’ve asked for—a new member to the family. It was a selfish and risky request, I know. I think a day after that, my mother announced her pregnancy. I remember being happier than my mother ever was. It was an utterly selfish and risky request, but effective. The storms, by some means, has tamed. 

Maybe it was the law of attraction. Of course not everything I wanted universe could give, like the girl I liked in the middle school, and it’s alright. I am grateful what comes in my way and what doesn’t, only a little inevitably disappointed.

For the record, I didn’t outright ask for the recent development of my relationship with theirs, but it happened. Jaehyuk was the catalyst; and if it were the case, he is merely the tool of the universe. I have yet to find out if it’s his only role in this, or if he’s so much more.

As the clock struck 6 o'clock, I went out for dinner—my first meal for the day. I haven’t been outside much this weekend as I was too engrossed on producing a song, so I haven’t really seen anyone, except for Yedam who brought me food yesterday and the prefect who checked if I’m still alive. The people in the dining hall were scarce, and there’s only a handful of students there that I know but not enough for me to sit with. My friends are nowhere to be found, as well as Jaehyuk and his group.

I’ve always loved the serenity of being alone in such a bustling atmosphere. It can be quite lonely at times, but whenever I am surrounded by strangers and their interesting conversations I feel some kind of connection, like I am part of whatever they’re part of—their friendship, a pact, the greater world, I don’t really know. Perhaps I romanticize the little things so much that it seems like somehow, everything is amplified to its core, when it’s not.

My inner voice is blabbering. 

“Mind if we sit here?” 

A familiar face. It’s Jaehyuk. Familiar faces. He’s with Hyunsuk and Junkyu. 

Mouth full, I shook my head.

For a moment I panicked. I wasn’t at all ready for any social interaction, even so with the people I feel the need to impress. 

“At last, we met, Asahi. I’m Hyunsuk.” The smallest one wearing a bucket hat beamed, sitting next to me, “Jaehyuk has been talking about you—gosh, I’m thankful they have burgers here but this is nothing compared to handcrafted burgers I always have.”

Junkyu took a bit on his burger, eyes narrowing. “You never shut up about that.”

“He’s not wrong though. The burgers there are exceptional.” Jaehyuk affirmed. He sits in front of me, so by law, he fills my path of vision. When he caught my eye, he gave me a tender, knowing smile. 

“You talk as if you didn’t tell me it was the best in your life.” He turned to me, “Do you like burgers?”

“He’s literally eating burgers right now.” 

Hyunsuk shot Junkyu a sulking glare, “Why are you being so mean to me?” 

I was fascinated. They weren’t as inaccessible as I perceive them to be—guarded and withdrawn. They were just like Yedam and us, not the wintry set of teenage boys with rich fathers and knack for superiority as I thought they were. I couldn’t at all understand why one would be advised to evade them. 

As they bicker around, Jaehyuk asked me why am I alone, in which I answered with “I chose to be.”

“It’s because you’re my best friend.” As soon as Junkyu said that, my nose crinkled in mild revulsion. It would have been disrespectful if he hadn’t grimace too. Hyunsuk, not catching the sarcasm, caved in to Junkyu’s poor attempt for reconciliation and returned to his initial thought with a grin.

Oh, he was originally talking to me.

“Where do you live?”

“Uh, here?” With that, Junkyu threw his head back in laughter. I nearly did too, but I felt bad. “I mean, here in Busan.”

“Hyunsukkie, stay strong.” Jaehyuk chimed in, chuckling. 

Hyunsuk let out a long hopeless sigh, “I’d tell you about this best burger joint in the world but you’re teaming up with Junkyu.”

“I didn’t mean to…” I trailed off, rubbing my sweaty palms against my legs, shoulder tensed. 

“It’s okay, I’ll take him there myself. I’ll treat him as well.” Junkyu retorted, cheeks puffed up from food. I took a second to understand what he said as he was chewing. When Hyunsuk grunted, as if truly offended, he plastered on a smile. “You’re invited.” He added.

It astounded me how puzzling Junkyu is, as from afar he seems to be the most transparent (Hyunsuk turns out to be that), but in the close lens his demeanor suggests cold layers within, contrary to what I’ve first observed. Even in how he dresses. He wears this tired black coat over his uniform every day, but the most striking element is his necklace; its pendant is a vial filled with reddish black fluid. Blood, I presume. Peculiar indeed. I wanted to ask him about it but I was taught that it is rude to be inquisitive. 

“By the way, where’s Yedam?” Hyunsuk brought up, wiping the dressing on the corner of his lips as Jaehyuk has pointed. I was drinking my cola when he asked so I just shrugged. 

“You weren’t with them lately.” Jaehyuk said. 

Junkyu, once drifting off in a reverie, snapped back to reality and looked at Jaehyuk, “Doesn’t that mean—Oh. Oh?” 

His mouth flew agape, eyes round. That went on for a couple of seconds. Hyunsuk and I exchanged a confused look before deciding to break the atmosphere.

“Hey! Fill us up!” He bellowed, to no avail. 

“Not me. I know nothing.” Jaehyuk brushed his pointing finger across his nose. “Anyway, I haven’t seen you around lately.” 

I was still confused. “Uh. Yeah. I don’t really leave my room.” 

Hyunsuk said something along Junkyu being bound to his room like I do that made Junkyu revert back to his not-so-normal self, snapping back with ‘ _Of course, you guys are always invading my room!_ ’

“What do you do then?”

“I’m currently working on a song, so I’m extra isolated.”

Jaehyuk’s lips formed a circle, “Oh.” 

“Can we listen to it once it’s finished?” Hyunsuk asked, almost pleading. 

To be honest, I’ve never let anyone listen to any of the songs I made. Even my longtime friends back in Seoul, Haruto and Doyoung, haven’t heard even a snippet. It’s too embarrassing. I’m relieved Junghwan didn’t persist after I told them off when they implored about it, for I don’t think I’d be able to refuse.

“I’ll think about it.” I won’t.

I suddenly got wary of time. I didn’t turn off my laptop so I was afraid it would overheat. Checking what time is it on the monumental clock right above the main door of the cafeteria, my eyes fell on a disheveled man who has just entered the premises, and is now approaching our direction. 

“Hey—Oh, hi newbie. I’m Jihoon, you?” 

He squeezed between me and Hyunsuk, throwing his arm around my shoulder like we’ve already met (I’ve spent these past weeks observing them but that doesn’t count). Instinctively I looked over Jaehyuk for succor but with the absence of expressions in my face I doubt he understood that. 

“Asahi.”

“Nice name,” he snatched the tomatoes on my nearly-empty plate and ate it, “where’s Yoshi?”

“You know, making the world a better place.” Jaehyuk answered.

Oh, I know now. Jihoon, along with Yoshi and possibly Junkyu, even with his genial mien, contribute the most to their sangfroid. That must be why when it was only them three, they seem convenient, but with Jihoon’s presence they got, I don’t know, all cool and rigid? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but their atmosphere shifted. Or maybe it’s just Jihoon’s energy overpowering the rest, and my discomfiture that followed. 

It’s really interesting how different they are on the close range. 

When I felt my relevance to the group diminish (even with Jaehyuk and Hyunsuk’s pitiful efforts to include me into their conversation), I thought it was a great timing. 

“Uh, I’m heading back.” God knows how nervous I was to say that.

“Already? Stay a little bit longer, I haven’t got a chance to get to know you yet.”

“Hey, Jihoon, it can wait.” Hyunsuk asserted.

I rubbed my chin, “I’m kinda sleepy.”

“Is my palaver that boring?” He did what one might consider batting one’s lashes, soliciting surprise rather than guilt. And, he used an uncommon term for his discourses. “Just kidding.”

“What’s palaver?” Junkyu piped in, head tilted.

“Parley.” 

“What’s parley?”

Jihoon waved his hands dismissively, “Search it up, Cajun chicken.”

I placed my palms on the table and pushed myself up from my seat. 

“Goodnight, everyone.” 

Before I left, they, Jihoon specifically (he even asked for my contact), lavished me with farewell pleasantries. Having to meet the kingpin, or so Jeongwoo said, I gained a hint as of why he would be detested, as Jeongwoo put it. It could be because he can be quite obnoxious and overbearing. However, that answer isn’t satisfying at all. If I say that that’s not enough for a reason, I’m afraid it would only make my sheer inclination more flagrant.

He has a strong personality and it is unpleasant for some, maybe that’s why. It should be for me. I couldn’t say more about him because I may have had a fixed opinion of him even before this day. He intimidates me, that’s given. All of them do, with a slight exception of Jaehyuk and Hyunsuk. 

The next day, to my surprise, he appeared on the doorway on the middle of my English class, asking for me. 

“Hey. I’ve been texting you since morning, but you never responded.” Jihoon leaned against the wall, “So I figured I’d stop by.”

“I don’t really use my phone much.” 

He jerked from the wall, startled. “What are you, an old man? Whatever. We’re having a sleepover later, you should come. Don’t tell others, it should be a surprise, okay?”

“But it’s Monday.”

“And?”

“There's curfew after prep time.”

“You’re too cute. We’ll sneak off, of course. Leave it to me.” He tittered, ruffling my hair. Mild annoyance swept over me when he did so.

Running my fingers through my hair, I drawled, “don’t you have classes?”

“Yeah, don’t _you?_ ” He emitted a mirthless laugh when I responded to his derision with a blank face. “You’re too cute. Too cute. For an old man. Alright, laters.”

It’s a bizarre occurrence. I haven’t even permitted myself to go but I guess that was a statement rather than an invitation. When I got back to my seat, the professor leered at me, along with Jeongwoo and Yedam.

Right, I haven’t told them about yesterday.

I only shrugged, contemplating on whether I should tell the truth or cover it up. _Why am I thinking of lying?_ It is absurd to lie about that, so I figured I’d tell them fragments of what happened.

Once the class reached its conclusion, with no hesitation, they all gathered around my table.

“Speak, and we shall spare your treachery.” Jeongwoo commenced in such a comical way, making me and Junghwan choke on a stifled laugh. 

“I went out to eat dinner and they joined me.” 

I had an urge to scratch my nape and so I did. 

Yedam was not fooled. “The details, the details!” 

A hand pushed my tensed shoulder. Junghwan, instead of agog, was glowering. 

“I was texting you if you’d eat dinner with us last night. I thought you didn’t reply because you were busy.”

“I was.”

Jeongwoo hissed, “Yes you were. You were busy _betraying_ us.”

“Halt, halt, let the traitor breathe.” Yedam waved his arms in the air as if suggesting a truce, “you tell us later everything. Everything. I’ll come to your room, or—“

“A sleepover!” 

They rejoiced. 

“No can do, guys. We’re having a sleepover later.”

It was hilarious, their reaction. The smile on their lips fell in an instant, faster than a millisecond, and they were stunned, eyes on me. I felt guilty for enjoying the current situation, as I know I am going to need to make up with them individually, especially Junghwan. 

“You—“

“Good afternoon, class.”

Reluctantly they returned to their seat, lifeless and plodding. Jeongwoo, who's two seats ahead, turned to squint at me and mouthed words I couldn’t quite catch on, for the last time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u all had a swell holiday !! <3

No matter how onerous the act they were putting up, I obliged— a little annoyed, yes, but relieved it was not silent treatment. Yedam was the first to forgive, and as he did so the two followed as well at their own pace. 

“Fine. The council has decided that the traitor is pardoned.” Jeongwoo proclaimed grudgingly after I said I’d lend him my laptop for the night, “but you still owe us a sleep over. It’s so unfair. You rarely join us and you even refused the first time we invited you, then you just met them and you already agreed to come. I am hurt, Hamada Asahi, so hurt.”

That very day, to my delight, I saw Junkyu crouching on the entrance of the garden area, petting and muttering words to the campus cat. There was a man standing near him, and as Junkyu bade goodbye to the feline, they sauntered along, coats billowing along the wind. I thought the man was just there, and Junkyu was alone, as I was thinking of coming up to him and asking about the sleepover (as Jihoon advised not to, but at what grounds would I have dare to approach?) but this man, I remember seeing them together once or twice.

I didn’t see Jaehyuk at all, the whole day. And Hyunsuk.

In fact, I didn’t see them all together. In prep time, they were nowhere to be found; in the dining hall, Jihoon ate with different people. At this point, I am starting to doubt the legitimacy of the said sleep over.

As we walk back from the study hall and had entered our respective dorns, all lined up, Jihoon appeared behind me. 

“Hey, hey, old man.” He said. “Follow me.” 

Shooting Yedam a glance, who’s chatting with someone I don’t know, I jogged to where Jihoon went; to the front of the line. He’s talking to the prefect in an ambiguously confidential manner that I only caught an excerpt of their exchange.

“—let it slide, yeah? Thanks a lot, Ancient Hun.” 

Jihoon’s room is on 3rd floor, just a floor beneath mine, and Yoshi’s apparently (how come I’ve never seen him?), as he told me. I’ve learned too that Junkyu and Hyunsuk resides in Dorm B, different rooms. Jaehyuk stays in the same dorm as ours but in the first floor (how come I’ve never seen them?— right, I don’t leave my room that much)

His room is as basic as the default, like he never bothered to make it as his own. There was a few spruce of his personality here and there; the big marble vase with striking fake red flowers and the marauder treasure box by the footboard, and that’s it. My artistic heart was mortified.

And, there’s nobody here. 

The question I have been meaning to ask buoyed up. “Where’s the others?” 

“Ah, they’re coming.” He scratched his nape and took off my coat to put it on the rack, “you know what? I don’t think they’re coming.”

My head snapped at his direction.

“I lied. Sorry. I made it up, it’s just us.”

Although I have suspected this I still felt affronted, for petty lies like this revolt me with no efforts. It left an aftertaste similar to being pranked as a freshman by the seniors. 

I stood still, unresponsive. 

“Are you mad? I’m sorry, old man.” His arms fell to his sides as he looked at me with apparent petulance on his face.

“Why’d you do that?”

“You wouldn’t be here right now if I told you the truth, right?” 

_Wrong._

I want to go back to my room. Appalled, I turned my heels to the doors. He hurried his way in front of me to block the doorway.

“I’m sorry. Give me a chance, please?”

When he enacted the same pleading expression he had yesterday, the irrelevance of my chagrin doomed me. _Who am I to be offended?_ It was of good motives he did this, right? I feel very upset, but I feel like I do not deserve to feel upset.

Muttering, “Alright,” I shrugged and sat down on the corner of his bed, staring at the couch in front of me. 

I suddenly thought of my laptop. Jeongwoo and Junghwan must be playing League of Legends right now. I needed to create another user on my laptop, because I know they're nosey and would snoop around my personal stuff, or worse, my music. Maybe I should've been went with them.

“I’d really invite them as well if only had we not got into a misunderstanding. Lately, Hyunsuk has been snappy towards me. I don’t know why.” He shuffles through the drawer box of his desk. “The key must be here… Ah, found it.”

I was rather caught off guard of his confession.

“I don’t perceive Hyunsuk as that, though.”

He walked towards my direction and crouched down in front of the treasure box. A thud, and a thud, the key clashes against the lock. 

“I know, I know, I feel the same. He’s one of my best friends. Sometimes—is this the right key? Why can’t it get in? Ah— we don’t really know the person we think we do. But I guess, maybe he’d grown tired of me but can’t get rid of me since he’s indebted to me.”

Once the box opened my attention tunneled to the content of it, completely disregarding what he just said. It is indeed a treasure box, full of forbidden food; unhealthy snacks, colas, bottles of alcohol and cigarettes. Lots of cigarettes and alcohol. I mean, _a lot._

My mouth flew open, reaching to grab a cola by instinct. God, I miss cola. 

“Where did you get this?” I uttered, astonished.

“I’m Park Jihoon, and I always get what I want.” Smugly he replied. “I’m very friendly, and I happen to befriend someone who has an access to the groceries. So, where are we? Right, Hyunsuk. Actually, me, Jaehyuk and him were classmates in middle school. We barely talk back then, but Jaehyuk and I are friends since we’ve known each other since childhood, and Jaehyuk and him are friends. Get it? You know how the connections work right? Before our graduation, we have discussed to go here for high school since as you may know, my parents are important people in this school, but Hyunsuk couldn’t afford it. Wait, let us have some drinks first. You drink, right?”

I nodded, after all, I like the taste of alcohol. It reminds me of the nights Haruto and I sneak off to steal my father’s whiskey as Doyoung keep watch. 

“Lock the door.” He commanded and I did so, rather giddily. 

He grabbed two bottles of vodka, and handed me one. I looked at him.

“Don’t tell me you can’t handle it?” He said in a mocking tone, and with the pressure to keep up with him I snatched the bottle from his hand. “That’s my old man.” 

Seizing a pack of cigarettes and a bag of chips, he closed the box and sat next to me. 

“So you just met Junkyu and Yoshi here?” 

I took a chug, grimaced by the bitterness. It’s warm. The last time I drank was when before we moved out. That was only two months ago, but it seems that my body has already grown unaccustomed by the punch of the taste.

“Yeah, I’d tell you how we met, but that’s for later. Now, again,” He took a sip, “Hyunsuk couldn’t afford it, and the slots for scholarship is full. So I offered him a scholarship. Well, my parents did. But I convinced them. He refuses at first, and was adamant of it, but he came around.” Another sip, “so I guess he felt abounded to me, and he expresses his contempt by sparking arguments.”

“Sorry for asking, but what exactly did you argued about?”

He opened the chips, “same old, same old.”

His response implied his dismissal of the subject, so I thought of another thing to say.

“How are you and Jaehyuk acquainted?”

I’m asking too much.

“Well our parents are business partners, and we’re often left together to play when we were children because we had no other friends. Hm… Jaehyuk, he’s a good man. Smart and reliable. However, there’s something about him that I can’t quite figure out. It’s the same with Junkyu. But he’s my best friend, and I trust him with all my heart.” 

The warmer the vodka, the nastier it tastes. Jihoon didn’t mind, nor does he care to chill it or pour it in a glass with ice. In every chug I make, the queasier I grow, even with the attempts to drown the pungency by chips and cola and nicotine.

“I like Jaehyuk. I like his company.” I commented.

“Yeah, he’s tender but distant. It’s noble.”

I wanted to inquire more but I think I knew what he meant. I think I felt it. It’s the same about him and Junkyu. Maybe it’s the something Jihoon was referring about. Their detached warmth. Suggestive of enigma.

He tapped his cigarette against the ash tray, “but that’s not what this is about, let’s talk about you.”

Our conversation dragged on for an hour and it was not too long until the alcohol kicked in. One after another he shot his questions, about me and my life in Seoul, my older sister and family history, and I answered with caution. But as every drunk man ever, my defenses were loosening up, and there I was, narrating my first heartbreak, half-drunken, half-dreaming. I never thought I’d love talking. 

“Girls are not worth it, old man. They’ll just break your heart. But if we’re talking about getting off, you might as well just wank alone or get it on with a homie.” He broke into a guttural laughter, “just kidding. I’d rather die than fuck a fellow dude. It’s disgusting.”

“It’s certainly unorthodox.” I muttered.

“Unorthodox. It’s a nice way to put it. Homosexuality is a sin, old man.” 

The conversation is growing uncomfortable so I racked my brains, dazed, to introduce another topic.

Taking a swig, “by the way, how did you met Yoshi and Junkyu?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. You seem very keen about them, huh. Don’t tell me you’re interested in Junkyu? Or Yoshi?” He nudged me with the mouth of his bottle, which I responded with scooting an inch away from him. I almost fell out of the bed as I do so.

“I’m not.” _And if I am, so what?_

“Just kidding. So Yoshi. How did we meet again? Oh, right. I actually know him long before we studied here since our parents were acquainted. He practically owns this school, so I thought it would be the best interest of me to befriend him. Nothing personal.” He lit another cigarette. “And Junkyu… Ah, that weirdo. I don’t remember how and when but I know we just became friends. I think it’s through Hyunsuk? I can’t remember.”

“What do you think of him?”

“Junkyu? He’s cool, much like Jaehyuk, but more secluded. I managed to break into his walls, somehow, but it took me almost a year. Have you seen the necklace he wears? That’s blood, man. Real blood. When I asked him whose blood it was, he said it’s his half moon’s. Like, what the fuck does that mean? A total weirdo.” He drank the last bit of his vodka, florid faced, lambent eyes. “He’s an interesting guy. I always say I know him well, but I don’t. I think no one do. I think he’s hiding a crucial part of himself. From me, I guess. Or maybe I’m just drunk.” 

He placed the empty bottle under his bedside table and reclined on his stacking pillows, overcasted by the smoke. Dare I say he looked cool and somber. Well, the world is beautiful when you’re intoxicated. 

“You’re the miracle transferee, right?” 

I scoffed, “I don’t know why they’re called me that.”

“It’s a suiting nickname. This school doesn’t accept transfers, so you must be pretty wealthy for the big man to consider you.”

“Not really wealthy. It’s just that, my father knows someone here. I don’t know if it’s the principal or whoever.” I was trying so hard to not slur my words. He chuckled, saying I speak so slow. I didn’t know what was funny with that but we ended up having a laughter session for several solid minutes.

“I like you, old man. You’re fun.” He said as we both calmed down. Hysterics was a bad idea when you laugh throwing your head off and you’re drunk. My face feels so numb. “Apparently Jaehyuk likes you too. He was keen on you as you were with us.” 

And then the image of our first encounter flashed through my mind. His smile, warm and welcoming. It was contagious, as my lips almost curved with the thought. My face was already hot from the alcohol, and it felt even hotter.

He crushed the cigarette against the ash tray, “I’m heading to sleep now. You can sleep at the couch.” He pulled a pillow from underneath his back and threw it to me, “turn off the lights and don’t vomit on my couch. Nighty.”

“Goodnight.”

When I stood up, it was like gravity defied the law of physics and went abnormal. The world was in a blur, and I had to stay still for a moment to muster up the remaining balance in my body. After I turned off the lights, I hobbled to the couch and flung myself there, knocking a bottle in the process. It’s my vodka and there’s still some remaining. Drinking it down, I let myself fall flat on the couch and asleep, with a smile playing on my lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Days go by and I found myself always around my new set of friends. This sparked a conflict between me and Jeongwoo when we studied at Yedam’s room. Maybe they were just joking, maybe I was just too sensitive, but it felt serious to me, and that rebuilt the wall between us. After that day, I can’t be with them anymore without being devoured by guilt, to the point I can’t even meet them in the eyes.

It’s a funny thing, actually. With my new friends, despite my unnoticed efforts to fit in— sitting with them during my sporadic meals or with no fail attending their sleepovers, there’s still a glaring barrier that I am forced to just stay back and watch. I felt much more connected when I was only studying them from a far, out of intrigue.

There was never a progress. I thought there was, but here I am, revisiting my old hobbies to excuse myself as busy. It’s like I don’t belong anywhere. Like I’m better off alone. 

A knock interrupted my reverie.

“Yeah?”

Jaehyuk’s head popped out. _Oh._ I straighten up my posture and greeted him with a small smile.

“Hi. I know you’re busy so I came by to give you this.” He stepped in, raising a paper bag. I spun around on my swivel chair before propelling myself towards him.

“What’s this?” I asked, inspecting the curious bag. 

He pushed the door close, “Your dinner and maybe your lunch too since I didn’t see you at the cafeteria earlier. Have you gone out? Have you studied for the exam? Are you working on your music?” 

I steered back to my desk and opened the bag there. It’s burger. I didn’t know I was hungry until I was punched by the aroma. Right, I skipped lunch. 

“I ate breakfast when the sun was only rising.” I lifted the upper half of the burger to extract the tomatoes but to my surprise, it’s gone. “The tomatoes—“

“Oh, I removed it already.”

I shot him a curious look, eyebrows furrowed.

“Just noticed it.”

I had to bite my inner cheek to stop myself from smiling too much. It’s the little things. This made me feel so much better, amidst my turmoil. 

“Thanks,” I muttered, about to take a bite when I remembered his horde of questions (very typical of him) are still unanswered, “Uhm. Yeah— Actually, no. Just added finishing touches, but I am currently working on my art. Nothing grand.” 

I almost rambled. I ate away the embarrassment, but with Jaehyuk’s amused look and silly grin, it didn’t help at all. 

“Woah, Sahi. That must be the most you ever spoke.” 

Shooting him a glare, I turned my back against him and focused on my barely started artwork. He rustled behind me, gently placing his left hand on my shoulder, watching as I stroke the pencil. It was like I lost my ability to draw. I put down my pencil.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go now.” He put his arms up, as if surrendering. We shared a cryptic look before he withdraws from my side. Another one when he twisted the door knob.

It’s not what I meant at all.

“Jaehyuk.”

He turned around so swift he almost stumbled.

“Yes?”

Another knowing look that dragged longer than it should. Slow smile, slower smile. A familiar feeling pervaded my entirety, so shattering of senses— I need him to leave, but I really want him to stay. He could bring warmth to my social despondency, I know that. Because that’s how friends are, right?

Sighs. What has come to me? This has never happened before. I have never wanted anyone’s presence into my solitude so badly before. 

Looking away, “Nothing.”

Then he left. Heaving probably the deepest sighs I’ve ever heaved, I got back to work. 

_

Time moves slower than usual when it’s Monday. Especially in noontime. It’s only past 11:00 pm and it already felt like I spent half of my life here. I stare at the damp nape of my classmate who sits in front of me as the teacher discusses something about Oscar Wilde. Beads of sweat trickle down, racing to the back. I was so fixated, but then Jeongwoo emerged from the nape. 

“Asahi?” 

I snapped back to reality.

“Eh?” 

The teacher, Sir Jang, raised his eyebrows. Suddenly everyone is looking at me. Even the once nape has materialized a face. In a trice, my heart was racing. I jumped up from my seat, and guiltily so, met Junghwan’s eyes for a split second.

“I asked you if you could tell us what A Picture of Dorian Gray is about, but you seemed a little preoccupied.” 

Scratching just below my jawline, “Uh, it’s about a man, Dorian, who sold his soul to the devil for eternal youth.”

I’ve actually read this book even before it was assigned to us. My father has a collection of hardbound literary books on his office that I am not allowed to touch but am I to be controlled? As a consequence, I have questioned a lot of things as an adolescence. 

“Alright. Surface. But what is the book really about?” His hands on his back, he wandered around the room. “Besides the obvious that can be read on the synopsis.”

“Uh, corruption of soul? Especially of Henry Wotton to Dorian. And, uh.” 

As I search for words, fidgeting, I saw Jaehyuk. He was by the window, looking at me.

“Romance.” I added, “Between men.”

He gave an impersonal smile— or was it a smirk?— before vanishing from the little aperture. If it’s not for Sir Jang’s fortunate intrusion by patting my shoulder (I didn’t notice he was behind me), I would have been staring at an empty space for too long. 

“Interesting. You may now sit down.”

The rest of the time I stared on my classmate’s nape with my consciousness faded. My mind was elsewhere. My mind was at yesterday. Soon, the bell rang for lunch and I discarded all my thoughts with my desperation to leave this room.

“Hi.”

My feet’s readiness to flee died down with Junghwan’s sudden initiative. I checked for Jeongwoo and Yedam but they’ve already left.

“… Yes?”

“Let’s eat lunch together.” He has a hesitating yet determined look at his face when he said that. Adorable. He always has that look when he’s serious. 

“Sorry, I don’t plan on eating.” Which is the truth. I planned on studying for the exam tomorrow. Besides, I’m not hungry. I ate breakfast. That’s enough.

He stood still, so formally that it’s comical. “I know, and I don’t care.”

I felt a pang struck my chest. 

_Right, we are not on good terms._

Or so I think.

Junghwan’s persistence is something I can’t put up with, nor do I attempt to do so. Despite everything, he still has a soft spot in my heart.

“Okay.”

On our way to the cafeteria nobody really talked. I wouldn’t mind it, however, I can tell he wants to say something and fill the silence but he fails to do so and it casted an awkward atmosphere around us. When we entered the student-packed cafeteria, my eyes instinctively searched for a mulleted man but to no avail. I only saw Jihoon, Junkyu and Yoshi eating together at their usual spot. 

“Where’s Yedam and Jeongwoo?” 

“At the dorm.” He replied in such an abrupt manner as if he has been waiting for me to speak first. “What’s your plans on summer vacation?”

Ah, right, the summer is approaching. My mother called the other day to bring me wonderful news about them being on a trip to god knows where and my older sister, who refused to come along, wants the house for herself. In the other words, I have nowhere to go. I could stay here and take summer classes, or I could go to Seoul and stay at my friend’s. But Haruto and Doyoung are surely travelling for the summer. 

“Nothing. I’m staying here.” 

I seized a food tray, handed it to him and got one for myself. I don’t really want to eat. The meal consists of vegetables and if not for my reluctant state I would have tolerated it.

He looked at me incredulously. 

“What? Really? That’s not fun! Why would you stay here?”

“I have no—“ He would insist.. “—reason to not stay. I’d take summer class on Liberal Arts.”

Just as we were about to look for an empty bench, the students who occupy the one in front of us left. No communication needed, we hurried there and sat. Empty benches are of rarity in times like this. 

“But why? It’s vacation, who would want to stay here?” He whined, stealing the tomatoes from my tray and stuffing it into his mouth.

“Me, apparently.” I sorted out the vegetables and only ate meat with rice. There’s no problem with food wastage with Junghwan as your friend. He takes all that I don’t eat.

“I was just about to invite you to my hometown.” He pouted, but then his face illuminated. “How about this, you go with me to Iksan, then you return here before your summer class starts. What do you think?”

“But the class starts right after the dismissal.”

The light on his face faded back to a frown.

“Besides, Jeongwoo is going to Iksan too.” I added. Which I shouldn’t have. Out of all the three, Jeongwoo is the one I am most ashamed to face. We were the ones who directly had a disagreement, after all. 

I really shouldn’t have said that. The atmosphere shifted into something delicate, something sensitive. Now that I’m almost done with my food, I would have nothing else to do to make this tension tolerable. He grew silent. Only the metal cutlery clashing with the metal tray and the buzzing of the place fills the silence between us. He didn’t even take the leek I set aside.

This is unbearable. 

My eyes flickered to where I saw Jihoon and the others earlier, but different people are seated there now. Then Junghwan whispered and trailed off. I looked back at him. 

“… not mad at you, you know.” 

I didn’t hear the first word so I didn’t know if he was pertaining to him or Jeongwoo or Yedam or them altogether. So I didn’t speak. Even if I know, I wouldn’t speak. 

“We were just envious that you spend more time with them than with us, considering the thing with Jihoon. It’s just that, we like you and we’re your friends even though you are such a loner and you don’t ever let us hang out in your room.”

A low chuckle escaped from my mouth, almost a huff. What he said only helped a little with my situation, but the damage have been done. My state of mind have never been strong enough to confront these emotionally-taxing problems. 

I forgot, they haven’t told me their vendetta against Jihoon. And I forgot to ask. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s with Jihoon?”

He finally took the discarded leek and ate it. I admit I was relieved when he did so. He scanned the place with caution, before parting his lips. 

“Yedam and him were actually friends—“

“Found ‘ya. You busy now?”

Hyunsuk appeared beside us. He’s alone, wearing his uniform with his soccer shoes, a peculiar sight for they have no practice today, as far as I know. When I glanced at Junghwan, he gave me a disapproving look, but I pretended to not notice and shook my head.

“Oh hi, Junghwan.” He greeted, in which Junghwan responded with a forced smile. “I’m sorry, am I disturbing?”

I pushed my tray aside. “No, we’re already done eating.” 

He glimpsed at Junghwan, concerned. That's Hyunsuk for you. I bet he’d ask Junghwan to come even though he is aware the chances of refusal are absolute. 

“Want to come?” 

There you go. 

As expected, Junghwan declined. 

“You could atleast walk with us outside.” I suggested, placing his tray atop mine and carried it. There was hesitation on his face but when I laid out my hand for him, he immediately grabbed it. Setting down the trays on the service counter, we went to the dorm. Since Junghwan was to go back to his room, he ended up walking with us. 

The room has a distinct division of whose side is whose— the right side is unembellished, with a tower of books as a bedside table and a designated wall full of cat photographs and polaroids, while the other side was meticulously decorated, and although it leans towards maximalism, it is very neat and organized. Even without seeing Jaehyuk (who glanced at me for only a split second when we entered the room before going back to what he’s doing) sitting on the bed is a dead giveaway, I would guess which is Junkyu’s: the right side. 

“Where’s Junkyu?” 

Hyunsuk pulled a paper from his bag, “I don’t know, probably with Jihoon or Gaia.”

With the mention of Jihoon, the events from sleepover flashed through my mind. Since then I haven’t asked anyone about it, even Jihoon himself, and I think this would be a great chance to ask about it since it’s only us three, but I’m afraid I have nothing to do with it so I guess I’d be forever curious.

“Who’s Gaia?”

“The campus cat.”

He handed the paper to me. “Heard you’re pretty good at drawing and stuff, so can you do my English?” With earnest eyes, “I’ll treat you coffee. It’s due later and I still need to finish my History.”

“Not commendable, but let me try.” 

“Thanks, you’re the best!” He sat on the floor next to Jaehyuk and threw me a pencil. “Here.”

I sat next to Jaehyuk, who’s busy scribbling numbers to even acknowledge my presence. Trying not to be bothered by that, I read the instructions. _What do I think Dorian Gray looks like, huh?_ It’s a different assessment to our section, and definitely the most preferable. The teacher assigned us essay about the dynamic of the characters, a tedious task. 

It is said in the book that Dorian Gray is a blonde and has a face so beautiful that his face alone is an alibi to all his sins. But how does he look like?

“What do you think Dorian Gray looks like?” I asked.

Hyunsuk shrugged with an embarrassed chuckle, “sorry, I actually didn’t read the book.” 

Giving him an exasperated sigh, I focused back on the paper. Soft features and radiant expression would be ample. I began outlining the facial shape, and the overall rough sketch of the face. As I do so, I couldn’t help glimpsing over the man next to me, as if he’s the reference. Like an artist to his muse, like Basil to Dorian. 

“You know,” he spoke, at last. “If Dorian Gray was alive, I think he’d look like you.”

My hand froze. What does he mean? Is that a compliment? I was baffled, and apparently Hyunsuk too as he darted his head at us. Jaehyuk, on the other hand, seem to be undisturbed. He folded the paper in a calm manner and muttered happily about how he’s done with all the works due later. Like he didn’t just make a bemusing remark. 

I ought to reply. Or else it’d be awkward.

“You... You think so?” And I stuttered. “Hyunsuk, do you have something to color this with?” 

He shook his head, focused on his work.

“I think Mashiho has something. Wait, I’ll check.” Jaehyuk stood up but Hyunsuk held him down.

“He’s going to be mad again.” 

Jaehyuk pulled his arm away from Hyunsuk’s grip. “Leave it to me.”

“Who’s Mashiho?” I asked, although from the context I understand who he is.

“Junkyu’s roommate.” 

“Are you not friends with him? I don’t see him with the group.”

“Oh, he’s a member of the basketball team. The MVP, despite being the smallest, I heard. A busy type, but we are good friends.” 

“That’s not nice, Hyunsuk. You’re the smallest in the soccer team but nobody brings up your height when talking about you being the MVP.” Jaehyuk, who’s opening drawers on the other side of the room, chipped in.

Hyunsuk threw his head back and pressed his lips together, glaring at the back of Jaehyuk.

I thought of the morning I saw Junkyu with someone in the garden and somehow my gut tells me he’s Mashiho. With the height, maybe? Or composure and the atmosphere between them. I don’t know.

Jaehyuk came back with a box of colored pencils and gave it to me.

“Is it okay for me to use this?”

“Yes, of course. Don’t worry about Mashiho, I’ll handle him.”

I didn’t actually plan on coloring this, and Hyunsuk said it’s okay with just a sketch, but I feel the need to do it. And because of that there’s only three minutes left until the next period. We ran, and we were just at halfway when my stamina started to decline. To keep up with the pace, Jaehyuk grabbed my hand until we reached the classroom. My heart was so pumped from running, and from some reasons it continued to do so until the last period.

__

“Why are you staying at this god forsaken campus?” 

Jihoon combs a handful of wax through his hair and styled it into a quiff, eyeing me through the reflection of his mirror. With his sleek suit and natural smug face, he sure does look posh. 

“Summer class.” I guzzled the room-temperature vodka. “Besides, I hate summer.” 

“I know you’re boring, old man, but I didn’t know you’re this boring.” 

I threw him a pillow. It hit his head, messing up a bit of his hair. 

“Hey!” He picked up the pillow and tossed it back to me, which I barely dodged. “Hit me wherever you want, but not the head, okay? I need to look magnificent.”

Laughing, I took another chug of vodka. “Jaehyuk’s coming with you?”

“You’re totally in love with him, aren’t you?” 

“Is it gay to ask?”

“Yes, Park Jihoon has declared that it is gay to care and you can’t do anything about it. And yes, Yoon Jaehyuk is coming with me. Jealous much?” 

“If I say yes, what would you do?”

“I’d expel you and send you to the monastery.” 

“If you hate homosexuality so much then don’t force it on me, even in a joking manner.” 

He was about to put lip balm on his lips but dropped it and turned around to face me. 

“I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

I gave him a side look as a response.

“Forgive me? I’ll grant you access to my treasure box for the summer.”

The corner of my lips perked up. “’Kay.”

A knock broke off, followed by the swinging of the door. It was Jaehyuk, in suits and formalities, just like Jihoon, minus the blazer. Contrasting to his usual style consists of button-up shirts and pullovers.

It was an unusual view. “Are you two going to a business meeting or some sort?” 

“He forced me to wear this.” Jaehyuk asserted, entering the room with his suitcase. 

“Father himself are fetching us. Of course, I would force you to wear that.” Jihoon replied. “Where’s Hyunsuk? And Junkyu? Has he made up his mind?”

Jaehyuk sat beside me, gestured for a drink so I passed the bottle to him. He only took a sip and gave it back to me. 

“Junkyu's sleeping, so I think he decided to stay. Hyunsuk said he’s coming.” 

That’s more or less of great news. Me and Junkyu never really talked much. In fact, we never talked exclusively at all. I doubt I can put up with his detached nature without them. I would really want to have someone to drink all of the disgusting vodka in Jihoon’s treasure box over the summer.

“Geez. Why would someone stay at this campus for summer? There’s not even hot girls here.” Jihoon grumbled, “Well at least old man isn’t all alone now.”

Hyunsuk arrived not so long after, all dressed up as well, except for the footwear.

“Why are you wearing your soccer shoes with that?”

“What? It’s more my style. Besides I accidentally used my black shoes at soccer.”

“You’re hopeless.”

When Jihoon was contented with how he looks, I walked them to the entrance hall. There’s only three people, a guard and two students, idling here, as it is already midday so a lot of people have already departed. 

“Here’s the key to the paradise. Feel free to leave nothing.” Jihoon dropped the keys inside the pocket of my jacket. “Have fun in your boring summer, old man.”

“Jihoon, your father!” Hyunsuk tugged Jihoon outside, leaving me and Jaehyuk, who’s redoing his necktie, alone. I stepped closer to him and whisked his hands away to do his necktie. I think I stepped a little bit too close. I can feel his breath and his cologne is intoxicating.

Tightening up the knot, “You’re all set.”

I glanced up to meet his eyes but he was staring at me and it was too much to bear. Instead, I straighten out the imaginary crinkle of his polo. About to take a step back, his hand clutched my arm to prevent me from doing so. 

“… Jaehyuk?”

“Jaehyuk!” Jihoon called, which made him let go of his grip. Luckily he did that fast enough for Jihoon to not see how close we were. It would be trouble.

My whole flesh was burning and I don’t know how to cope with how that feel. I am starting to understand this feeling— induced only by the man before me. What’s the word for this?

“I’ll keep in touch.” He noted, before walking away. 

I didn’t bother to watch them drive away and retired to my room. It’s strangely calming to see the campus without the chaos. I wish it’s always like this. I can walk around, contemplate my life, since that's what I think I need to do right now.

It’s been days since I last checked my phone. And it’s apparent on the number of unread mails and messages. Although they know I don’t use my phone, they really insist on texting me things. Without doubt, they’d document their summer to me, especially Junghwan. I appreciate it, though.

Speaking of Junghwan, he sent me a photo of him and Jeongwoo eating at a restaurant. 

_We arrived at Iksan! Let’s eat here soon. Their Japchae is the best!_

I debated whether I should respond or not since his text is not really requiring of a reply. I decided not to. Haruto messaged me as well, telling me not to visit for summer as they are going to Japan, Doyoung included. I sent a reply saying I did not plan to. Even before, they are always travelling for the summer and I am always left alone. Not that I’m complaining. 

As I scroll through my inbox, a new notification popped up. 

_Jihoon:_

_Missing ur boyfriend?_

And a picture of Jaehyuk on the passenger seat, gazing outside. He looks so serene.  
_Looks like he misses u too. Aw!!!_

I might have stared a little longer at the photo than I should as minutes have already passed before I got to reply. 

_I am thrashing your room._

Taking another look at the photo, I pressed save.

I think I really need to reevaluate myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it's been awhile . hope ure all doing good <3


End file.
